Unemployed's Crisis

I do not understand why am I here in my blog and creating another article in which I am definitely not sure what to say. Maybe I just wanted to let my inner thoughts out. My emotion right now is quite inappropriate for what I really have inside. For the past two months, I got used to an unfamiliar routine of waking up early, take my bath and eat my meals. Well, yeah I know they are just a matter of an hour or two if done right after another. Here's the big BECAUSE, the rest of my time is spent in front of the computer. Researching on latest medical updates, download movies, watch Korean/Taiwanese movies, make articles out of random thoughts and ideas, sleep a bit and chat with my friends who are online. When I was still studying, I have always been under all kinds of stress and I can't wait to enjoy the relaxing life of a graduate student with no exams or quizzes to get anxious for. I get excited on the thought of spending the whole time on the computer without being disturbed. But then, now's different. Two months incarcerated at home is actually the life I hate to have. I'm tired of the computer. I have already read all my books. I kept buying and reading all of them again and again. Even my parents told me to stop reading. They would make familiar lines just to put my books away - "the light's too dim", "you could get sore eyes", "you might get a headache", "your migraine might recur", "you've been reading too much", "you could get sick of that" and whatever. But my favorite line that would absolutely and automatically make me throw my books away is "dinner's ready". Right, I have an average or shall I say, normal body built for a girl my age however, I have an appetite of a 6-footer construction worker. Quite heavy, huh. Yea, yea, yea. I'm a little bit worried now 'coz I don't get to exercise anymore. Well, just a lil' bit okay? Hmm. You think I should warm up? I need to get this body worked up. I need to get tired. I want to be busy. I want something to be worried about. I WANT SCHOOL!!! Yeah, definitely, I missed being a student. And definitely, I will go to school AGAIN. O yes. AGAIN. See you!:))

Satan's U-Turn

I got there on time. I thought I was going to be stucked up in the traffic again. It was not great though because I spilled my hot chocolate on my white lace blouse while running my way to the church. Too bad, I wiped it with my hand and it got even dirtier. How much more clumsiness could I get? I even stepped on a gum while on crossing the pedestrian lane. It was like walking while somebody's unsuccessfully trying to pull my foot. Embarassing. So anyway, there I was, attending the last service mass at 5:30 in the afternoon. The message was delivered by a young lady, not a few years older than me. Choir members were all youngsters which I find it unusual because it was supposed to be led by the elders (a.k.a adult men). When the projector flashed something on the screen, I was like, "Oh I see, it's youth sunday!". How come I didn't know there's a youth sunday? I mean, sundays are for everyone. It's not supposed to be youth sunday alone and then, the next sunday will be children's sunday, and then, women's sunday or men's sunday and sundays for grandpas and grandmas. I think too much, right? They were all just my stupid philosophical ideas trying to breath out the exhaustion from the overload my brain is currently suffering.

The message was surprisingly short but it was undeniably an explosion to every young people listening. The preacher exposed the sins created from thought to action by every individual who pull their ways away from God. We fought hard to play our roles in our lives and go against the wrongdoings of population surrounding us. Some made it, but others were drawn towards the opposite direction. I thought, what is really our purpose on earth? Do we even have one? Yes, of course. Every person exists for some reasons. It might not be for ourselves alone but everything has its reasons. I keep trying to find out why do some people don't believe that the Son of God was nailed on the cross to save us from the burning sulfur we definitely deserve. Haven't we realized that when God was nailed on the cross, we were actually the ones holding the hammer? Can we even repay Him for the grace of unconditional love He has blanketed on us? We should start living the paths away from the direction beyond God's desire for us to take.

Maybe, young people nowadays need a great deal of spiritual growth. I am not saying that I have a perfect intimate relationship with God. I'm trying to say that I am so proud that I grew up from a Christian family with strong faith passed into us. With the faith I have, I suggest Satan to make his U-turn. He's on the wrong way. I really hope young people will have their hearts open up for God and let Him be the King of all Kings. And we'll be strong enough to push Satan away from our roads.

We are God's beloved. But do we deserve to be called one? I really think I should meditate on this more. :))

What is Fibromyalgia?

I'm quite fond of writing medical-related articles. I hope that whoever reads this will find it substantial. Thanks!

Fibromyalgia is a syndrome of multiple etiologies that affects the immune and central nervous systems as well as many other organs. It is a syndrome of chronic fatigue, diffused muscle pain and stiffness with the presence of tender points on physical examination (Lippincott Manual of Practice, 2003). Fibromyalgia is seen in 3% to 6% of the general population—mostly women, and is most commonly diagnosed in individuals between the ages of 20 and 50 (Hurst, 2008).

Although fibromyalgia only started drawing attentions of medical professionals and clinicians for a few decades by now, it has been around for a lot longer before it has been recognized. For several centuries, the condition has been contemplated with several names. It was believed that during biblical times, Job was speculated to have suffered from fibromyalgia in which pain was described in the book as though something were relentlessly gnawing to the bones. In 1660, symptoms were identified resembling fibromyalgia and were first given a name of “muscular rheumatism”. Dr. William Balfour of Edinburgh, Scotland gave the first full description of the condition in 1816 and was referred to as “fibrosis”, “hysterical paroxysm” and still, “muscular rheumatism” since it caused generalized burning sensation on soft tissues and in 1824, he became the first to describe sore points associated with fibromyalgia. In 1880, a psychiatrist in United States suggested heightened sensitivity to pain, psychological and psychiatric disturbances as one of the pathophysiological mechanisms of the illness which then, he called as “neurasthenia”. In 1904, British rheumatologist William Gowers establishd the term "fibrositis" ("fibro–" means to fiber; "–itis" means inflammation) into the medical lexicon to indicate the tender points found in patients with muscular rheumatism. Moreover, Dr. AJ Luff discussed factors related to fibrositis in the British Medical Journal in 1913. He observed that symptoms of the condition grew worse and poorer when the barometric pressure is low and when rain is approaching. Also, his article created the connection between growing pains in children and fibrositis as well as the temperature variations, fevers, infections and vehicular accidents in relation to the condition.

In 1972, Dr. Hugh Smythe of the University of Toronto laid the foundation of fibromyalgia diagnosis and treatment by describing widespread pain and tender points. In addition, Dr. Harvey Moldofsky, a colleague of Smythe’s at the University of Toronto, performed the first sleep electroencephalogram study in 1975 and recognized the sleep disturbances and deprivation associated with fibromyalgia as manifested by short-term memory loss, word mix-ups and lack of concentration. Further studies were conducted and were found that signs of inflammation could not be evident, thus, physicians concluded that the term “fibrositis” was inappropriate. As a result, the term "fibromyalgia" ("my–" means muscle; "–algia" means pain) was introduced by Gower in 1976 to replace the misnomer "fibrositis". The first controlled clinical study with validation of signs and symptoms and tender points was published in 1981. The interconnection of the significant concepts of fibromyalgia and other similar condition was proposed in 1984. In 1986, Serotogenic and norepinephric drugs were first shown to be effective in treating the condition since these substances, which play important roles in sleep regulation and intensity of pain signals, were found to be in low levels in fibromyalgia patients. In 1987, the American Medical Association recognized it as a true illness that causes serious disabilities. Same year, Dr. Don L. Goldenberg, Chief of Rheumatology at Newton-Wellesley Hospital in Massachusetts described the symptoms and treatments of his 118 patients and recorded the diagnoses as “fibromyalgia syndrome” in an article in the Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA). In 1990, the American College of Rheumatology (ACR) released the first diagnostic criteria for fibromyalgia and neurohormonal mechanisms with central sensitization were developed afterwards. In 1997, the National Fibromyalgia Association (NFA) was established. Furthermore, the first treatment guidelines for fibromyalgia were developed by the American Pain Society in 2005. The Food and Drug Administration approved Lyrica (Pregabalin), Cymbalta (Duloxetine), and Savella (Milnacipran) as treatments of fibromyalgia in years 2007, 2008 and 2009, respectively. At present, many physicians lack knowledge and did not receive trainings on how to properly diagnose fibromyalgia, unfortunately. However, ACR continued in updating the diagnostic criteria for fibromyalgia. It is expected though that better understanding of fibromyalgia is impending and that health care providers will be able to make accurate diagnosis and appropriate interventions.

References

http://www.fibromyalgiadietandtreatment.com/the-history-of-fibromyalgia/

http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/fibromyalgia/p/historyfm.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15361321

http://www.livingwithfm.com/resources/The_History_of_Fibromyalgia.pdf

http://www.livingwithfm.com/resources/The_History_of_Fibromyalgia.pdf

http://legacy.lclark.edu/~sherrons/etiology.htm

http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:4LpuUKFs9JoJ:www.hcplive.com/media/pdf/098e2dabfd52029b32a852cf300f1719.pdf+dr.+luff%2Bfibromyalgia&hl=tl&gl=ph&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEEShN_Y-WnjqJKmQVprS0-rlhfRbRe2oOpFV9ednm_bGY89IqWljsLpXFgf7LgVylXJdUuLR3rnY0wq3UWlrR5eia7Ff1l4WW0YXXkoyHs9lTixVFYRz2txbRtnnNRKdkTj0mz_bz&sig=AHIEtbRigXCFTC5HAmkeNBKDNsqH7Ewd6A&pli=1

Netinna, Sandra: Lippincott of Manual Practice, 3^rd Ed. c2003
Smeltzer and Bare: Brunner & Suddarth’s Textbook of Medical-Surgical Nursing, 10^th Ed. c2004

Hurst, M.: Pathophyisiology Review. The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. c2008

Promise of Victory

I've lost track of time. It seemed like a few days ago, I've been running around school to get my papers done for the graduation requirements. I was like, "Oh no! I can't make it to the deadline.". Hardworks, paid-off! I got my nurse license three months after the graduation. Wow! I thought two months' not enough to get my lessons done for the licensure examination.

Thank you Lord. Because of you, I was able to submit all my requirements on time. You provided me patience. Because of you, I was less anxious when I took the examination. You were there.

Because of you, I was not too nervous while waiting for the results. You promised me victory.

Thank you Lord. You never fail me. I lift up everything to you. My license will bring me to the life you have prepared for me. Help me Father that I may glorify your name in everything that I do. Help me Father to become more like you and that the people whom I am going to work with will see You in me.

Aal iz well

Okay, hold on, I am not stupid. Now, I know I'm quite late in realizing this but I'm pretty sure I have thought about this for some time. Things went unexpectedly but I think, it was better off to be like that. No meet-ups. No talks. Nothing actually happened since the day he stepped in DC. I was tired. Though I was soo not over him, I can't just allow myself to get fooled again. I already know that if I'm going to give it a chance again, then, I know how things will end the third time. Nothing happened twice that will never happen the third time. So, it would be better to let things be. One thing I'm sure is that I don't want him near me anymore. Maybe, we're meant to set our paths apart. Or maybe, we just can't find it in ourselves that we let these things happen to us. This is better, I know. I'm going to start anew. Leave the memories I had and make new ones. Love and be loved. This is supposed to be 'give and take'. You can't just give what you don't have and you can't keep on taking but not giving. Aal iz well. I'm going to be happier.

windstruck

today is definitely the most boring day for me. i don't have anything to do right now. i got scolded by my father by coming home not too late but too early..in the morning. i was with a friend. yeah right.. a gay friend.. we strolled to different beaches. and we even rode to a Ferris Wheel and Spider. i can still remember the discomfort i had when we were at the top and suddenly brought down. seems like my stomach is entirely left at the top.. i hardly breathe. i just closed my eyes and deep-breathed. how i missed that experience.
just 5 minutes ago, i watch a korean movie "windstruck". i remembered of watching this when i was still in high school but i totally forgot the story so i watched it to kill time. guess what? my eyes are swollen. it was hard to stop from crying. seems like everything in me fell apart. it reminded me of someone important whom i have already neglected. i realized, if he dies, i couldn't keep myself from coming after him. now, my tears still fall. not because of the movie but because i know, im scared of losing him.. guess i have to put in mind that he's not mine anymore and that i gave him away. how could i be so stupid?

5-Week Notice

it's killing me, it's killing you.

but both of us is trying to be strong..

there is no turning back.

to show no emotion when i'll start to cry.

this is the hardest thing i'll ever have to do.

my eyes have no more tears to cry.

seemed like everything had died.

5 weeks. that's too long but yes, no matter what, this has to go on.